What is a Good Way to Hit on a Waitress at a Coffee Shop?
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What is a Good Way to Hit on a Waitress at a Coffee Shop?

What I like about this question is how specific it is. Which means two things: this person is at the coffee shop on the line to ask for a mocha mecha light brown fore skin milk latte, as we speak, waiting for us to come up with a good line for him/her to hit on his/her server. And, as usual, this person is obviously a stalker.
Now wait just a second, just because you’re a stalker, it doesn’t mean I’m not gonna help you. I have a heart and I need to fill it with hope, hope that you’re gonna get caught and send me an e-mail telling me how it didn’t work and how I’m stupid for giving advice on how to hit on your coffee shop waitress. Now, then, I had my share of coffee shop waitresses and let me tell you, they do taste like coffee! Nah, I’m just kidding.
So, OK, let’s focus on the issue here: Hit. On. Waitress. Oh, I’m sorry. Hit. On. Coffe. Shop. Waitress. She sounds lovely, by the way. I think you guys are gonna be wonderful together.
What you’re gonna need to pull this off is the following:

  1. Rope
  2. Chloroform
  3. Large sack
  4. Raincoat
  5. Fedora hat
  6. Sunglasses
  7. Fake mustache
  8. Leather gloves
  9. Fake passport
  10. Leather briefcase

After gathering your “hit on coffee shop waitress” pack, you can go to the nearest coffee shop of your choice.

What do you think?

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Written by Tag Brum

Tag Brum lives in Brooklyn and writes things from a computer whenever wi-fi is available.
You can follow him on Twitter @tagbrum.

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