How to Survive Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise’s Divorce
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How to Survive Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise’s Divorce

Katie Holmes is divorcing Tom Cruise after 5 years of marriage and in this guide we’re gonna help you cope with this break up that is certainly devastating to you.

1 – Get ice cream. Don’t be cheap, get all the go to guns: chocolate, strawberry and maybe caramel, just to mix things up. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING? DROP THAT DIET CRAP RIGHT NOW! THIS IS AN EMERGENCY.

2 – Movies to make you cry. I’d advise The Way We Were, but Netflix has Dawson’s Creek, the complete series, to help you through this tough times.

3 – Pick a side. Seriously, if you’re going to participate in this you gotta side with one of them. There’s no right or wrong (though picking Tom Cruise means you’re wrong), so pick a side.

4 – Post as many frowny faces as you can. This is the time to overshare. You’re upset because one of your favorite dramedy actresses is finally single again, so frowny face it up, baby!

5 – That Dawson’s Creek movie thing. Yup, now that Katie Holmes is free, you should just go ahead and create a blog on Tumblr and start a petition, this is the right time and you know it. Let’s make this Dawson’s Creek movie happen and let’s bring Paula Cole back.

6 – Cry. Seriously, you deserve it. You’ve been through a lot and it’s finally happening. You’re going to be fine, don’t hold it back, just cry.

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Written by Tag Brum

Tag Brum lives in Brooklyn and writes things from a computer whenever wi-fi is available.
You can follow him on Twitter @tagbrum.

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