How Do You Know You Shouldn’t Be Dating?
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How Do You Know You Shouldn’t Be Dating?

I went through a self-realization just the other day that I’m unfitting for dating. I think every person should go through this self analysis before subjugating strangers to their issues, and I’m not talking about going to your dark place, self loathing, or anything like that. I’m talking about practical topics.
Are you unemployed? Are you broke as joke? Are you mentally unstable? Do you only talk about cats, your health or family issues? Are you looking for a copy of your former lover? Do you believe Big Foot exists?

If you answered, “yes” to any of these questions you are right there with me. Let me tell you one thing: I answered, “no” to all of the above and I’m taking myself off the market.

The thing is, I found that I’m apathetic to the system. I date a lot of people, but I’m not a player. I’m not looking for a girlfriend. I don’t want to sleep with everyone I meet. So, really, I shouldn’t be dating anyone. What’s the point? There’s a point, yeah? You meet someone the very least you like enough to text back. But if even punching, “Hey, sorry, too busy to hang for now.” on your phone seems like a daunting task, then yeah, you shouldn’t be dating.

I’m sure you are the nicest person, at least that’s what your mom says. But really, stop and think for a second. Am I damaging enough to ruin someone’s life? If you stop to think about it, you shouldn’t be dating anyone.

The way I see it, dating is an exercise of trial and error, in which you repeat, through various attempts to find someone, until you are successful. Or you stop trying. Or it’s just flat out insanity, you know what they say about insanity, right? You keep doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. So if you, like me, keep dating people aimlessly, you shouldn’t be dating.

One girl once told me, “I only have my profile online as an ego booster,” well, there’s nothing wrong with that, unless you also act that way when you actually meet people for a date. Wouldn’t it be nice to ask people out because you are bored or because you were not feeling wanted? An ego booster date. I’m sure that falls under the umbrella of not looking for anything serious, which again, there’s nothing wrong with that. But, all the participants in this game should be aware of the rules. Fuck me, but never call me, k? Really, take yourself off the market. Go do yoga.

I don’t have any rules for dating people, like I said before. It’s trial and error. So, you never know, but I also don’t want to be thrown into a love triangle without warning. I like to have fun and I think it’s only fair to let a mofo know what he’s in for, no? I have nothing against the online dating culture, but people are not disposable. Bee keeping, I heard it’s really in right now, do that!

The point is, if you are not invested, the best policy is to let the other person know. Would you like to be jerked around? Lead to believe you’re having a great time when really what you’re doing is just serving as an option to Solitaire? Just be honest, man, don’t string people along. YOU SHOULDN’T BE DATING ANYONE.

What do you think?

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Written by Tag Brum

Tag Brum lives in Brooklyn and writes things from a computer whenever wi-fi is available.
You can follow him on Twitter @tagbrum.

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