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Hannah said that she would only date me if I’d called her and ask her out. I told her this is crazytalk. She said, ‘I wanna show you my art, I don’t show that to anyone…’. How privileged am I? She doesn’t throw like a girl, works in the fashion biz and won’t date you if you’re a text addict. I lied. She said she was into good music. She lied.

Name: Hannah

Relationships: Single

From: North Carolina

Body type: Slim

Personality: Pee Wee Herman-ish

Funny: If you’re into it

Job: Fashion Designer

Drink: Yes

Make Out Skills: Sloppy! Do it again!

Hipsterity: Minus 50