VMAs 2015: Kanye is Running for President, Miley Cyrus Releases New LP and More
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VMAs 2015: Kanye is Running for President, Miley Cyrus Releases New LP and More

Last night MTV broadcast the most traditional hate-watching event in television.
OK, let’s not get ahead of ourselves and dismiss the VMAs as some anachronistic, irrelevant event about a has been industry. Remember, Taylor Swift matters and so does Kanye. So much so that after he received his Video Vanguard award he delivered a 10+ minute soliloquy that made him sound like Rick from Rick and Morty apologizing for all the Kanye things in the past and closing with the announcement that he will be running for president in 2020. Because, you know, if one megalomaniac can, all of them can too.

If you’d rather read his soliloquy, there you go.

“Bro. BRO. Listen to the kids. Jeremy, I gotta put it down for a second. Jeremy Scott designed it. First of all, thank you Taylor for being so gracious and giving me this award this evening, thank you. And I often think back to the first day that I met you also. You know, I think about when I’m in the grocery store with my daughter and I have a really great conversation about fresh juice, you know? And at the end they say, ‘Oh, you’re not that bad after all.’ And like, I think about it sometimes. It crosses my mind a little bit like when I go to a baseball game and 60,000 people boo me. It crosses my mind a little bit. And I think if I had to do it all again, what would I have done? Would I have worn a leather shirt? Would I have drank a half a bottle of Hennessy and given it to the rest of the audience? Ya’ll know ya’ll drink that bottle too. If I had a daughter at that time, would I have went onstage and grabbed the mic from someone else’s? You know, this arena, tomorrow, it’s going to be a completely different setup, some concert or something like that. This stage will be gone. After that night, the stage is gone but the effect that it had on people remained. The problem was, the contradiction is, I do fight for artists. But in that fight, I somehow was disrespectful to artists. I didn’t know how to say the right thing, the perfect thing. I just, I sat at the Grammys and saw Justin Timberlake and Cee Lo lose. Gnarls Barkley and the ‘Sexyback’ album…and bro, Justin, I ain’t trying to put you on blast but I saw that man in tears bro. And I was thinking like, he deserved to win Album of the Year. And the small box that we, are as entertainers of the evening, how could you explain that? Sometimes I feel like, you know, all this shit they run about beef and all that, sometimes I feel like I died for the artist’s opinion, for an artist to have an opinion after they were successful. I’m not no politician bro! And look at that. You know how many times MTV ran that footage again because it got them more ratings? You know how many times they announced Taylor was gonna give me the award because it got then more ratings? Listen to the kids bro! I still don’t understand award shows. I don’t understand how they get five people who work their entire life, one sold records, sold concert tickets, to come, stand on a carpet and for the first time in their life, be judged on a chopping block and had the opportunity to be considered a loser. I don’t understand it bruh! I don’t understand what the biggest album or the biggest video… I’ve been conflicted bro, I just wanted people to like me more. But fuck that BRO! 2015. I will die for the art, for what I believe in, and the art ain’t always gonna be polite. Y’all might be thinking right now, did he smoke something before he came out here? The answer is yes, I rolled up a little something; I knocked the edge off. I don’t know what’s going to happen tonight, I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow bro, but all I can say to my artists, my fellow artists, just worry about how you feel at the time man. Just worry about how you feel, and don’t never…nom sayin, I’m confident. I believe in myself. We the millennials, bro. This is a new mentality. We not gonna control our kids with brands. We not going to teach low self esteem and hate to our kids. We’re gonna teach our kids, that they can be something. We’re gonna teach our kids that they can stand up for themselves. We’re gonna teach our kids to believe in themselves. If my grandfather was here right now, he would not let me back down. I don’t know what I finna lose after this. It don’t matter though, because it’s not about me. It’s about ides, bro, new ideas, people with ideas, people who believe in truth. And yes, as you probably could have guessed by this moment, I have decided in 2020, to run for president.”

Also is worth mentioning the scripted moment that Nicki Minaj spontaneously called out Miley Cyrus for the comments she made on an interview at the New York Times.

Miley Cyrus, as the smart marketer that she is, used this shitshow to promote her new record, Miley Cyrus & Her Dead Petz released on the Flaming Lips’ Lovely Sorts of Death imprint, which is available to stream for free via mileycyrusandherdeadpetz.com. This is the fruition of her collaboration with Wayne Coyne. This is what she had to say about her dead dog and how she worked with the Flaming Lips frontman to The New York Times:

But it wasn’t until she returned home to pursue natural healing that things got “really trippy,” she said. “This is going to sound crazy,” but a Chinese healer “sent me into a state where my dog was lifted out of my lungs and placed on my shoulder,” she explained. “I pet my dog for like three hours,” and after finally telling Floyd she had to “let go and put his energy out,” Ms. Cyrus continued, “I really think, in a way, his energy went into Wayne’s energy. What he was to me, Wayne has become.

[…] He’s everything in the world — you can’t even define us,” Ms. Cyrus said. “I am 100 percent in love with Wayne, and Wayne is in love with me, but it’s nothing sexual in any way. That would be the grossest.

And last but not least, check out the music video for the track “Dooo it” from this surprise release.

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Written by Tag Brum

Tag Brum lives in Brooklyn and writes things from a computer whenever wi-fi is available.
You can follow him on Twitter @tagbrum.

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