From Twitter:

You can hate on Justin Bieber, but remember he can pick up his phone and call any celebrity he wants pretty much. Can you?

You know I can’t, therefore Justin Bieber bests me. Justin Bieber ability to call any celebrity he wants pretty much is what makes me wake up in the morning, look at the mirror and say: you sir, are a piece of shit. How can you not be able to call any celebrity at all? You disgust me.

This is not only singular to me, there are millions of people in the world who can’t call a celebrity. Ever. Some people don’t even have the ability to speak, let alone to celebrities.

I, for one, have been in the presence of celebrities. Just the other day I passed by Mr. Big, you know, Chris Noth, who was exiting the Q train on Union Square and I missed my opportunity to add him to my phone book. Hell, if he had an iPhone with a Bump app, we would just do that, bump each other and boom, we’d be in touch.

We’d probably go to ball games.

We’d probably make fun of Sarah Jessica Parker (behind her back, brother has to milk that Sex and the City cow).

We’d probably reenact some scenes from Law and Order.

We’d probably play Call of Duty late at night.

But I missed my opportunity to be close to be Justin Bieber. Or to have his celebrity phone calling power.

I question myself now, you know? I don’t know that I can hate Justin Bieber. I don’t think I’m worthy of hating him, since, as you put it, I can’t pretty much call any celebrity I want. So, I suppose only celebrities, agents, PRs, sales agents or telemarketers can hate Justin Bieber.

Anyone else but me. Thank you for keeping me humble, Twitter.

Tag Brum
Tag Brum live in Brooklyn and writes things from a computer whenever wi-fi is available. You can follow him on Twitter @tagbrum.

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